Dadzilla

Unsollicited Advice Part 2 - Dads.

2008-12-08T10:51:00.004-06:00

Here's my Dad to be /Not Pregnant Partner advice, in no particular order.

1. Know Your Shit.

Read every book she does, then some ones on fatherhood. You don't need to know what kind of medication she can take for that flu, but it's great to know where in the book that info is so you can look it up in a jiffy. Know about the baby blues, and that it will almost certainly affect your partner. Know as much as you can.

2. Babies Can Hear at 16 weeks
And by week 24 the ear is fully formed. So by month 5 at the latest, start talking to the baby. Its the one of the only ways you can connect with the baby and is so rewarding. Every other night from month 5 on, I would sing "Summertime" and "Safe and Sound" and talk a bit to Lucy. I was tempted to sing all kinds of different songs, but sticking with just one or two elicited strong and more consistent reactions. When she was born, she started to cry when the doctor put her down on the scale to weigh her. As soon as I started to sing "Summertime" she stopped crying. For the first 8 months of her life, I could get a 5-10 minute respite (enough to warm up some formula) of hungry-angry crying by scooping her up and singing "Safe and Sound." And before bed I still sing her "Summertime" when she's in my arms having her bedtime bottle. This is one of the best ways to wind down at the end of my day, and having a connection with her that extends to her time in utero is pretty magical for me.

3. Massage

Before singing to The Bug I would massage SC. Just 5-10 minutes of very gentle circular clockwise strokes on SC's tummy. The Bug learned to anticipate my massage and would squirm and push, sometimes being soothed, sometimes getting riled up (the singing always calmed her down). As a bonus, massaging the tummy helped SC with the ongoing felling of being stretched to tight in the tummy.

4. Domesticate Yourself Now
To be honest, I'm still working on this one. But expect to pick up the slack for any household chores that she did pre pregnancy. Start taking on as many chores as you can now, and know that without a maid, post-partum doula, or live in relative helping out, the house is going to be a disaster for a while. And that's okay I currently try to make dinner once a night, with enough leftovers to provide a second evening meal. I also get up at 5am to clean and put away dishes from previous night and make breakfast for SC and The Bug. I still need to pick up my end of the bigger cleaning chores (vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, oven, fridge). That said, I do get up at 4am once a week to make the drive out to Cambridge to drop The Bug off at her Gran's for childcare.

5. Get a Sling

Using a fabric sling give dads a real opportunity for day to day bonding with their babies. The baby gets to smell you, hear your voice and heartbeat, feel the rhythm of you walk. This turns a trip to the drugstore for whatever you've run out of into bonding time. At home, I'd sometime take my shirt off and wrap The Bug up cradled against my chest, and walk up and down the hall to get her to sleep. I was worried that a single piece of fabric would be too flimsy, but I'm now convinced that they are way safer than bulkier carriers. With fabric, you can feel every move the baby makes, and if the fabric feels loose (which can happen after several hours of use) you can simply tighten the knot.
Babies love Nuit Blanche. And single malt.

Unsollicited Advice Part 1 - Books.

2008-12-01T12:43:00.013-06:00

If you've met The Bug you already know, she's pretty awesome. At less than 16 months she's already a walking, talking, joke making, happy, social, thoughtful dynamo. In theory, as her dad I have something to do with. So before The Possum is born and successfully proves that I actually have no idea what I'm doing, I thought I'd do a bunch of posts that outline what has worked for The Bug, SC and I. This one is gonna focus on the books that we've found to be most helpful so far in no particular order.

Our Babies Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way we Parent

This books was huge for me. I had a lot of preconceived notions about what living with and raising a baby looked like and how things were supposed to be done. By putting child rearing advice in its cultural context and seeing how other cultures successfully bring up baby it really allowed me to consider all the options confidently. I'd recommend reading this book first as it will allow for a more critical reading of the other books on the list.

The Mother of All Pregnancy Books
She's not my favourite writer, but you need a reference for being pregnant, and "What to Expect When You're Expecting" is waaaaay worse. Also, this is a Canadian book, which if you're Canadian, makes this essential.

The Mother of All Baby Books

As above, but even less impressive. In fact, I can't remember having used this for the last 10 months. That said, I do remember using it heavily when The Bug was a newborn. Essential if you're Canadian.

The Birth Partner

Dad's to be, this is gonna scare the shit out of you. Read it, memorize it, do the prenatal work with your partner, and then don't be hurt when your partner's wants to hire a birth doula. I borrowed a friends copy for The Bug, but have picked up a copy of my own to prepare for The Possum's arrival. Yay perineum massages!

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two

From RN Martha Sears and MD William Sears (who have like, 8 children). This is our go to book for anything baby/toddler related. When we have questions this is the first book we go to. As with all baby books that try to answer questions like "what do I do when the baby won't stop crying" this books has its own approach on how to parent, which they call attachment parenting. It sounds like a lot of work, but frankly getting up to hold your baby and rock it to sleep is a lot more rewarding then lying in bed, seething, waiting for a 6 month old to cry it out. Like every book on parenting I've read, it is pretty assumptive about gender roles, but if you want to be an informed and involved dad, you have to learn to wade through that sorta thing and try not to let it prevent you from recognizing otherwise sound advice.

The Discipline Book

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you."

- Philip Larkin

In moments of great stress with a toddler, you will revert to the style of discipline practiced by your parents. I've always thought my parents made great disciplining choices with us, but I wanted to be able to make my own, considered choices - and in the moment with a cranky/stubborn/mischievous child you better have some kind of system in place so you don't just react. This book deals with the different styles of discipline and shows when each is appropriate. Another Dr. Sears book, and if the very phrase "attachment parenting" make you think "I don't want my children to walk all over me" you might want to take a look at this book.

The Baby Signing Book

I'll be honest, I don't use this book that much anymore. But that's mostly because I know more than half the signs in it, and I've moved on to online ASL dictionaries which are more detailed, and often have videos of the signs being, um, signed. Still, even though some of these signs seems to be incorrect (at least according to online dictionaries) this book solidified my commitment to sign with Lucy, which is definitely in my Top 5 Things to To with Your Baby. The Bug can tell entire "stories" by combining her signs and "words".

Bringing it back

2008-11-28T16:13:00.003-06:00

Here's the thing, it looks like I'm gonna be a Stay at Home Dad for at least a little while after Nico's born. And all the cool stay at home dad's have a blog. Also, facebook's boring the crap out of me.

Thank you.

2006-10-11T09:49:00.000-05:00

The last, originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

So, we haven't been around here for awhile. Mainly because we've been saving our witty diatribes for the thank you cards. Wow. Those take a long time!

This is a short post first to say that there are still more pictures! The most recently received were from Monica, who took pictures both at the rehearsal dinner:

http://flickr.com/photos/shanghaic/sets/72157594323093896/

and at the wedding:

http://flickr.com/photos/shanghaic/tags/monica/show/

Thanks Monica!

Also, just a big old thank you so much to everyone over the past year and a bit. It's been a hellava ride.

We'll come back to this blog when there's something significant to blog about...

Much love,
Michelle and Adam

Slideshow of latest photos

2006-08-14T12:30:00.000-05:00

It would help if I posted the link to the latest photos, as not everyone is Flickr-savvy:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/shanghaic/sets/72157594233351077/

You can check it regularly as I will be uploading pictures to this link of the next couple of weeks.

Just when you thought it was over

2006-08-11T17:15:00.000-05:00

Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

There are STILL more pictures! We received a DVD worth of images from Scott (yay!) and my beau tells me that Ryan just dropped off another! (woohoo!)
I have a 2GB quota that I can upload this month, so I'll post as many as I can for you to see.

You know you left the wedding too early if you don't know why I'm posing with Mermaid Cher.

Michelle & Adam's Playlist

2006-07-26T13:09:00.000-05:00

As promised in our wedding favours, here is the playlist for the CD. If you really like the song and want to support the artist by purchasing the single they should all be available on iTunes. I thought I'd also give y'all a brief rundown on what the songs mean to us.

1. Simply beautiful - Al Green
Adam and I were big Al Green fans before we met. He played this song for me on one fateful trip to Montreal. I was blown away by the song, I had never heard it before. But it wasn't until I looked at him that I realized that he was trying to tell me something...
He's always said that if we married that this would be our first dance.

2. I heard it through the grapevine - Gladys Knight & the Pips (remix from Motown Remixed remixed with original)
This is an Adam mashup of the orignal and a remxed version. This song was hotly debated between Adam and I when we were picking our music. The Marvin Gaye version was easily dismissed for the way more funky "Got to give it up, parts I & II". Adam picked the Slits' Grapevine version, which to my mind would have made all the dead Pips roll over in their graves. We compromised with the Motown Remixed version, and some "Adam magic".

3. Smoke gets in your eyes - Byron Lee & the Dragonnaires
This was one of my picks. I love older calypso, soca and reggae and Byron Lee delivers. You may know him from the soundtrack of one of my favorite Connery Bond films - Dr. No. His cover of "Shaft" is pretty awesome too.

4. Bang! Bang! - Joe Cuba Sextet
My pick from a Soulsides podcast on Boogaloo. I believe that Dizzy Gillespe did this song originally, but I love this 60's latin-soul version. It has a wicked beat if you know how to dance, and the girl yelling slightly off-key lets you know that non-dancers are welcome too. Le chomp, LE CHOMP!

5. Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm yours) - Stevie Wonder (Motown Remixed)
Andrew Ennals tried to have a conversation about why on earth would people attempt to remix Motown songs that are already perfection. We did this while dancing and I was a little giddy so I didn't make much sense at the time.
What I wanted to say Andrew was, yes, I agree with you. (Um, except this is a pretty awesome remix --AB) Yeah but, you posted this before I finished writing it so I didn't get to say, "Hey, this is a really awesome remix. And you should also check out the fun remix of "I want you back" by the Jackson Five"

6. It's my life - Paul Anka
You don't need to purchase this one, steal the whole album if you want. He makes some riduculous amount of money every night when the "Tonight Show" theme song gets played. And I think Jon Bon Jovi is doing alright too - Monica went to see them in concert this year.
But really, dancing to swing versions of 80's rock songs is one of the most fun things you can do. I dare you to try it without cracking a huge grin. This album is the reason why y'all need to take swing dance classes.

7. Beautiful View - Ron Sexsmith
If you only buy one single, it should be this one. We all have to support Canadian music, doncha know. Adam introduced me to this song on one of his first mixed CDs to me. Before that, I knew Ron Sexsmith as a quiet messenger that I used to see in the core when I worked down there. It was said that "he played guitar on the side". Huh. Who knew?

8. Word Up - Willis From the Rewind 4 album. Originally this cover by Willis had no drums, so Adam added some. He'd probably something clever about slide guitar and drum machines and you'd probably all barf. Umm. Huh? Clearly Adam was sleepy when he wrote this. -MA

9. Seven Nation Army - Nostalgia 77
Again, off the Rewind 4 album. Adam and I lost it when we heard this cover of the White Stripes single.

10. I am not my hair - india.aire
How sweet is my husband? This song is his pick - he was so moved when he first heard it and thought of my own trials and tribulations with my crown. It is indeed a great song, but my "hair epiphany" song is "Cloud 9", by Donnie, a close friend of india.

11. Think (about it) - Lyn Collins
They don't call this woman the 'preacher' for nothing. Lordamercy! Adam and I took great pleasure in finding obscure yet recognizable songs for our wedding reception mix. If you don't know much hiphop, this song was sampled in a Rob Base hit many, many summers ago. But Lyn kicks Rob's butt.

12. Let the sunshine in- The Fifth Dimension
Definitely my pick. I've never seen Hair the musical. But I was blown away by watching a performance of this song on the Ed Sullivan show. Holy crap - Marilyn McCoo?!? So unbelievably awesome. Stop reading this post right now and go rent the DVD and watch it.
What. Do I have to do everything for you? Fine. Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8k8O4MQSs8
See what I mean? She totaly busts out the hip jive towards the end of the song. And don't even get me started on the bass line, one of my favorites ever.
There was a whole pack of us dancing to this song at one point that night and I was unbelievably happy.

13. Baby got back - Johnthan Coulton
Our mutual guilty pleasure. Potentially not safe to play in front of the kids if they understand innuendo.

14. Pata Pata - Miriam Makeba
No, not the soap commercial. No, not the Huxtables' great-Aunt. Even if you didn't memorize this song for the Folkdance Jamboree when you were in elementary school, you have to love the sweet-sweet fun in this song.
Another unbelievably happy dance moment for me during the reception occurred when both Jennifer and Melissa screamed in unison and launched right into the line dance they were taught when they were kids. Perfect.

15. URAQT - M.I.A (diplo remix)
As is "You Are A Cutie" Not safe to play in front of the kids. But then again, I watched Redd Foxx when I was a kid, and I turned out okay. Adam tuned me into this remix.

16. Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
An Ad pick. It's all about love on the road and stuff. Shame that we had to lose the beat matching into Dangermouse's remix of Jay-Z's "Dirt off my shoulder".

17. The Luckiest - Ben Folds
A mutual pick for the last song of the evening. Adam put this song on a Christmas CD he made for me, which I listened to on the train on the way to visit my family in Cambridge. I cried like a baby.
I've been listening to our wedding CD to get the track order while I type this post and I could not get past the fourth line of the song without huge tears running down my face.
Let's move on.

18. Mothersbaugh's Canon - mark Mothersbaugh
Adam asked what song I wanted to walk down the aisle to. I didn't know. I picked Mutato Muzika Orchestra's instrumental cover of Hey Jude, which I thought sounded very "walkin' down the aisle". Especially if instead of everyone reading our blessing, they all broke out with the "Na na na na na nas" at the end. Wickeds. But Adam didn't really think the lyrics were that appropriate. *shrug* (mmm song written to your son about learning to love his new step mom, not the kind of first step into marriage I wanted to make -- AB) But it's an instrumental version! -MA
Of course, now when I hear it I get all mushy inside and have a vague memory of high-tailing it up the aisle because I didn't remember inviting quite so many people...

19. Kutambarara ("Spreading") - Kronos Quartet
My pick. I knew without a doubt what the recessional would be. This song, sung in Swahili, is so full of joy and celebration it is perfect for screaming out, "Yay! We're married!"

eta Sorry for the confusion folks. Adam published this post without realizing that I hadn't finished it. I've updated it for your listening while reading pleasure... MA.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

Look at that awesome hair!

2006-07-26T11:00:00.001-05:00

IMG_4002
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

My man.

2006-07-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

IMG_3997
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

Milo hitting on Andrew Ennal's date.

2006-07-26T10:57:00.000-05:00

IMG_4100
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

Hey. Leave a tender moment alone.

2006-07-26T10:51:00.000-05:00

IMG_4333
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

Awwwww....

2006-07-26T10:48:00.000-05:00

IMG_4358
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

Roger & Matt totally rawking out

2006-07-26T10:47:00.000-05:00

IMG_4365
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

Impossibly...

2006-07-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

_MG_3937
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Ryan captures an elusive image of Simon making an non-obscene hand gesture towards a camera.

July 15th was a special day indeed.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

Scott!

2006-07-26T10:36:00.000-05:00

_MG_4119
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Hey look! Someone took a photo of our photographer!

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

Anne & Barry

2006-07-26T10:30:00.000-05:00

_MG_4149
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

And still more tears

2006-07-26T10:29:00.000-05:00

_MG_4150
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

I think we need to create a slideshow just for all the crying.

Michelle Axbey
Adam Bolduc

One of my favorites

2006-07-26T10:27:00.000-05:00

_MG_4174
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Jeff channelling his inner Lorne.

2006-07-26T10:06:00.000-05:00

_MG_4387
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

Shanghai Cowgirl

2006-07-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

_MG_4417
Originally uploaded by ryan.melissa.

I think this picture pretty much encapsulates the "shanghai cowgirl" look. Minus the stinky sister feet.

I broke the blog!!!

2006-07-26T01:28:00.000-05:00

Sweet Merciful Crap I broke the Blog!! Michelle got to my flickr page before I was ready for it to go public. Flickr didn't upload 13 pics and had the wrong order. My solution was simple, erase the "set" and re-upload the pics. Well, I didn't know Michelle had already made links to the photos. Michelle, can you fix and make better? My Groomzilla Powers are not fully developed and I can't go back and edit posts. In the meantime, read Michelle's little blurbs below and match the file name (i.e. IMG4100) to the pics loacated here http://www.flickr.com/photos/ryanmelissa/sets/72157594212270370/

Soooooooooo sorry about that. :(

Ryan

3am, Sunday July 16th - Vestalunch

2006-07-21T10:57:00.000-05:00

Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

I tried documenting some of post-reception events, but with all of the tipsyness, cab-hailing, hip-checking, and waving hello to strangers congratulatiing Adam and I, not many pictures were snapped by yours truly.

You can see a slideshow of our first meal as a Mr &Mrs here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/shanghaic/sets/72157594206710080/show/

It also includes some pictures from our honeymoon in Montreal.

J-Squirrel had posted pictures online on Sunday afternoon - cuh-razy! You can see them here:

http://wrightx2.spaces.msn.com

Overheard on July 15th

2006-07-21T08:54:00.000-05:00

"He's having lunch back there!"

"Oh my god, I loved you in Mermaids."

"Crotchochip."

"It's my sister!"

Ask a bride - backlog

2006-07-13T11:24:00.000-05:00

Everything was going swimmingly for the majority of the wedding planning, except for Blogger. Way to let a bride down, Blogger! I am so switching to Movable Type or something when I'm knocked up. "A Daily Dose of Nausea", that's what I'll call it...

My plan was to do daily posts this week, but Blogger wasn't having any of it. So here I am, catching up on my Ask A Bride questions. And we've been flooded with questions too. Maybe that's why Blogger's been so wacky? Let's proceed.

Q: Dear Ask a bride... What about parking?

A: We'd prefer you not drive, because there will be drinking. We have to be responsible hosts, yadda-yadda. You all know the drill.
If you're staying in one of the lovely hotels in the 'hood, you'll sort out parking where you're staying. You can ask one of the groomsmen or the very helpful front desk at the Gladstone to get you a cab at the end of the evening.
If you are driving to the event and are not staying overnight, there are a limited number of parking spaces available. You will need to come into the hotel first, go to the front desk, tell them you're here for the wedding and they will give you a pass and tell you where to park (it's just on the south side of the street, just to the right of the donut store). If you don't do this, you will totally get ticketed dudes.

Q: B2B - Will there be air-conditioning?

A: Hells yes. Adam's wearing a three piece suit!

Q: Ask a bride - what time should we arrive?

A: If you don't want to be bored, I'd say 6:30pm. That gives you plenty of time to say hello to the people you know, and still have enough time to score good seats, hit the bathrooms and grab some popcorn and licorice on the way back. Unless you do what we do, which is send someone in early and make them save two entire rows of seats with coats and bags. Also, this bride isn't going to be late - I'm only three floors away - so we'll be starting promptly at 7pm.

Q: What's the weather going to be like?

A: Meterology is beyond the scope of practice of the bride. But since you're lazy, looks like it's going to be a hot and sunny day Let's hope the humidity continues to drop so my hair doesn't overwhelm the poor Groom.

I think that's it for now. Adam is finally off work for two glorious Nintendo filled weeks and I'll be offline starting Friday. We're even taking a little getaway next week!

Are you excited yet?

CHOCO-SCHOOL!

2006-07-10T10:38:00.000-05:00

I think I've stopped giggling now. Phew!

So, if you didn't hear, the most awesome Lady MK threw me an anti-shower (my words, not hers) at JS Bonbons chocolate school. That's right, 23 women making chocolates. We should have been sponsored by Tide Pen.

Does anyone have any photos - I wasn't going to pull out my camera and get ganache all over it. Please email them to me: maarmt[at]gmail[dot]com, I have lots of room there to receive them and I'll post them on the blog.

Thanks so much to everyone for coming. I had a blast. And special thanks to Karen, the most brilliant honourable maiden evah.

Ask a Bride - you got questions, bride has answers - "What does formal mean?"

2006-07-03T14:03:00.000-05:00

Next to the question "Are you really excited about the wedding?" or the statement "I bet you're really excited about the wedding." I get asked the above question quite often.

Am I excited? mmmm... not yet. Don't get me wrong, I'm THRILLED that Ad and I are getting hitched, but nobody asks me that . The wedding is like the biggest, best party that Ad and I have ever thrown. We usually start planning our parties months in advance with the most awesome of ideas. And then we realize about a month before the big day that our ideas will take a long time to implement so we hunker down and get to work. This involves much working and less playing which tends to make us fairly grumpy people.

So, planning the wedding has made us even more tired and grumpy than regular party planning. I've also just this weekend hit my physical wall of exhaustion, which is a little annoying as I've been pretty healthy this past year. So, excited is not the word. I will be excited on the 15th. Look out for me, I'll be the one in white with the big stupid grin plastered across my face with the dreamy man on her arm.

So, what did we mean by formal?

I'm not going to pull an Emily Post on you guys here. We said "formal cocktail reception and dancing" because it's not a casual event for us. In the most general sense possible, we meant formal as the opposite of casual.

How you define summertime formal is really up to you. I can tell you that the groomsmen are wearing suits and ties, the bridesmaids black summertime cocktail dresses.

What do you wear when you dress up and want to feel fabulous? That's what you should wear. We have guests who are pulling their tuxes out of storage, we have guests that are wearing linen pants and short sleeve button-down shirts. There will be air conditioning, if that's a deciding factor.

We won't be passing judgement on what you're wearing, we'll just be happy to see you.

Feel better now? Good. Now stop stressing about it.

"Can she solder like a pro, Billy Boy, Billy Boy?"

2006-07-03T13:58:00.000-05:00

"Can she solder like a pro, Billy Boy, Billy Boy?"
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Or so the nursery rhyme goes. Or maybe it was something about the ability to bake a cherry pie?

Tools of the DIY bride: soldering tool, several different pliers and cutters, metal sandpaper and the ubiquitous Dollarama purchase - this time a fake plastic popcorn container. So cute!

And of course, I had to geek out just a touch and take a picture of the madness.

Oh - I guess I should explain. They're tiny metal flowers that I'm soldering onto each other to create "buttercup" like bigger flowers.

Just because you need more convincing.

2006-06-21T14:55:00.000-05:00

Just because you need more convincing.
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

This is DAY TWO with the placated and sedated 'fro. This is after an evening of slaving over a hot stove. After taking a long bubble bath. After sleeping on it for a FULL EIGHT HOURS.

No product. No styling. Happy hair.

I'm weeping with the fantasticness of it all.

-Taken by Scott5x5 - who is also the dude who is shooting our wedding

The Hair Whisperer

2006-06-21T14:40:00.000-05:00

the hair whisperer
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

As if you needed another reason to be happy for us this year... I found a new stylist for my "upstairs neighbour".

My "upstairs neighbour" being my hair. Not Karen and Jason, who are the very nice people who live above us in our real house. Not the house that is my head.

Umm. Yeah.

So! Are you an ethnic woman? Do you want to have a stylist who has entire conversations with your hair that you are not involved in? Then meet Robert at Hair2 Inc. I was completely speechless by the time he finished with "her". Yes, he has defined the gender of my hair. Just in case there was any doubt.

The brotha has a master plan over the next four weeks for us. And Jennifer, Garyan and I have a stylist for the 15th. w00t!

Squirrel and Chips

2006-06-12T11:26:00.000-05:00

Squirrel and Chips
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Miss Mere, cake maker.

2006-06-12T11:25:00.001-05:00

Miss Mere, cake maker.
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Ceci ce n'est pas un gateau.

2006-06-12T11:25:00.000-05:00

Ceci ce n'est pas un gateau.
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Bridesmaids

2006-06-12T11:24:00.000-05:00

Bridesmaids
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Moms

2006-06-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

Moms
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Did I really say weekly?

2006-06-09T15:45:00.000-05:00

Damn.

Okay. The most hilarious thing that happened over the past nine days I cannot tell you about yet. It's not going to happen, but I have been using its unbelievably mighty powers to get things done. I can't tell you about it until the things are completed. Let me just say that it would seem that a simple witholding of a small amount of information gets people to do the things that they're supposed to do instantaneously.

I am not an evil person. I am just doing something evil to ensure that good prevails on July 15th.

We can cross food off our to-do list! We had a tasting with Sean, our caterer from The Melting Pot. Tastyness all around, and his little girl is pretty cute too.

In follicle news, the Posse worked dilligently on my head for several hours on Sunday. Grape Lik-m-aid styling products were applied. I sat under a large bonnet dryer from the 1970's. The result? Really curly hair! That smelt like fruit. Good or bad? You decide- pictures to follow.

We've received pretty much all of our RSVPs - I can't wait to bind them up into a little book! I was going to scan and post some of them, but you'll have to wait until the big day. (It'll be beside the guestbook).

Tomorrow we head to Peterborough for a tag-team shower with Ad's cousin Matthew and his partner Indy. They're pregnant! Which so beats getting married. Way to steal our thunder, guys...

Things coming up include yet another fitting for me next week and *crossing fingers* bringing the dress home; Ad's bachelor party and Jeff & Kendra's long overdue housewarming party! w00t! Y'all can crash, just tell them I sent you...

I'm off to search for makeup, a new pair of shoes (can you believe one of the heels is off-centre? Okay for walking, but distressing when dancing!) and solder. 60/40 flux core 18 SWG, if you're interested. A bride's work is never done.

RSVPs, Restaurants, Parking. And fibre!

2006-05-30T09:49:00.000-05:00

Several things to update y'all on:

RSVP Cards
The RSVP cards have been fantastic. Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to write a few words or draw a picture or use up their sticker collection for us. Ad and I are real tired and grumpy these days, but coming home to four or five funny, warm and sweet postcards in our mailbox cheers us up immensely.

I was very blue yesterday but my mood was lifted by cards with hilarious quotes by Scott and Fawn, although I'm sure that Fawn actually had nothing to do with the quote, sweet sentiments from Ryan and Melissa, punny jokes from Will and Faye and a surprisingly accurate drawing of a cat reaching up onto a table holding a wedding cake by Steve's child, Jamie.

My vote for the cover of our "card book" is the card we received from EAW-Stephen-Traub, illustrated by his daughter, Ruby. She drew Adam with fierce facial hair, and myself with the most luxurious-white-people-hair possible. In our wedding attire we were labelled, "Mom" and "Dad". When EAW-Stephen-Traub told Ruby that we weren't actually parents, she looked at him like he was clueless and stated, "That's why they're getting married!" Smart kid.

If you haven't sent your card to us, please do drop us an email or give us a call so we can finalize our numbers.

Restaurants

The Beaver Cafe has posted it's summer hours - they are open until 10pm for dinner! Hooray!

Other restaurants that didn't fit on the invite that you might want to try in the neighbourhood include:

Rhino http://www.torontoplus.ca/portal/
profile.do?sectionID=139&categoryID=2&contentType=0&profileID=1040186

Mildred Pierce (which Anne just reminded me about last weekend)
http://www.mildredpierce.com/

Here's a link to all of the Drake Hotel's restaurants. We went for breakfast in the cafe on Sunday and it was fairly meh. But we've eaten in the Raw Bar, Lounge and Dining Room and it was all supertasty.
http://www.thedrakehotel.ca/eat_drink.asp

Parking

If you are driving down for the wedding and not staying over in a hotel, please do let us know by commenting in this post, phone or email and we will ensure there is a parking space for you.

That's it for today. I'm going to go eat some Weetabix now. Fibre helps me plan a wedding!

3 sisters

2006-05-25T09:50:00.000-05:00

3 sisters
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Due to popular request - okay, it was just Anne, but she's got some pull as my future mom-in-law - here are some pics of my family in Cuba for J-Squirrel's wedding.

I like how they always seem to sit in chronological order. From top to bottom: Aunty Anita (England), Aunty Shirley (Barbados), Mommy (Canada).

Aunt Leona

2006-05-25T09:48:00.000-05:00

Aunt Leona
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Leona came all the way from BC and then stayed an extra week in homestay in Cuba! Muy cool.

Bajans in Cuba

2006-05-25T09:47:00.000-05:00

Bajans in Cuba
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Mom is so cute. She pulled me aside and commented that all the hotel staff seemed to really get along with them. She whispered, "I think it's because we're black!"

They did get a huge following within the hotel. Pictures were exchange, staff came to watch the wedding, Mom is sending down clothes for the wedding photographer's little boy... we were treated like royality.

Dad & Uncle Al

2006-05-25T09:46:00.001-05:00

Dad & Uncle Al
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Uncle Al is Aunty Anita's husband.

J & Dad

2006-05-25T09:46:00.000-05:00

J & Dad
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Walking her down the aisle. Or, in this case, path.

Dorkus Malorki

2006-05-19T12:58:00.000-05:00

Ad&I
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Hey look! It's us! In Cuba! Hard to tell, hmm? The easy way to tell that we're on vacation is that we're wearing hats.

J-Squirrel's Wedding

2006-05-16T08:42:00.000-05:00

sunset1edit
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Awwwwwwww.

And... we're back.

2006-05-15T10:56:00.000-05:00

First off, is anyone else finding Blogger kimpossibly slow? What's that about?

Groomzilla and I are back from wedding 1 of 6, this one held in "sunny and warm" Varadero, Cuba . The Squirrel's (aka J-Squirrel) wedding was simple and beautiful. Simply beautiful. Pictures to follow, although if you're on Flickr you can just go check out my latest album. The rest of y'all - join the 21st century, will ya?

Wedding 2 of 6 was this past Saturday for Mike and Kim in the "more temperate but still lots of free drinks" Royal York in Toronto. Niiiice. That wedding was swish indeed! Live R&B band, tomato flan, blood orange sorbet,roses everywhere, live R&B band, very tasty champers, did I mention the awesome band?

Last week was a writeoff/detox so it is this week that we hit the ground running. Ad, in true organizational fashion did the most important thing first and obtained our marriage licence. It's official, kids. No turning back now. Well, I guess we could but we wouldn't get our money back.

***

This post starts the WEEKLY updating to the blog. We'll be posting regularly to update our friends and family on the information provided in the invitations (all you townies should have received yours by now) plus new and exciting predicaments. Hilarity will ensue!

Friday we went for dinner with almost all of the Bolduc clan to Addis Ababa, in celebration of Mother's Day. This is the Ethiopian restaurant mentioned in our "Recommendations" section of the invitation.

The verdict from most was that the food was very tasty. Envision lots of savoury stews called wats, which are either meat, bean or vegetable based. They're served singly or in combination in little piles on top of injera, which is a moist spongy flatbread. You rip off a section of the injera, grab a bit of stew with it, and pop the whole thing in your mouth.

The stews are definitely savoury - no lack of flavour here. Monica declared that saffron, rosemary and homemade butter were her new favorite flavour combination. But if you don't like spicy food, be sure to ask the very friendly and warm staff for the mild dishes.

All of our meals came with a simple green salad plus sauteed veggies - which helped cut the heat of some of the hotter wats. Mains (there are no appetizers) average around $9, with combo plates around $12. Definitely indulge in the coffee ceremony too!

Our only caveat about Addis Ababa is the wait time. You may have heard the phrase "African time" before - meaning that things run on a much slower pace than you might expect. When Ad asked for the bill after our server had poured our coffees she laughed and replied, "Finish your coffee first, then the bill comes!"

If you have a couple of hours to relax, enjoy some Ethiopian music (maybe the live band will be there!) and savour some new and interesting food - Addis Ababa is for you!

We will update this post with Addis Ababa's summer hours shortly.

Wedding Limbo

2006-04-18T09:28:00.000-05:00

No, not the dance. For the record: no limbo, no macarena, no conga line.

There is such a thing as too much time. Just over a year to plan a wedding such as ours is unnecessary. There. I've said it. Somebody go inform Martha on this one. It's too much time people!

Yes, boys. It's not enough time to save money, I know. That's why I said plan. You guys are so contrary.

We have been in this strange wedding prep limbo where we have almost all of the elements of the wedding together, but we can't actually assemble them. So, we're just... waiting. Sure, we have a few outstanding issues to clean up but overall we know what we want, where we want it, how we want it. The other w's are there too.

It reminds me a lot of when I used to do track. Toeing in and actually running weren't the problem. By the time I was on the field, I was focused on the task ahead and ready to go. It was the bus time to the stadium, or even worse, waiting to race in the afternoon heats. That's when my anxiety would kick in. Right now I'm sitting on the bus, waiting for that benchmark - 3 months before the Big Day.

Which just came and went. Anne called to remind us, just in case we forgot. And we probably would have if she didn't. It was kinda anti-climactic. I thought our cellphones would start ringing with calls from our suppliers and guests. I thought our home would look like an active trading day on the TSE floor. It's a little messy from the invitation creation, but other than that it's been quiet on the homefront.

So, we should be on our marks, but we've had a few false starts. We're a little jumpy. I don't think we'll be sprinting until we get back from Cuba. With our first few days there being taken up by the Squirrel's wedding, I'm hoping that the last four days of our vacation will be like that giant pasta dinner you had to have the night before race day.

The BoldAx Index

2006-04-03T17:02:00.000-05:00

26 number of days until we leave for Cuba for the Squirrel's wedding

11520 number of minutes we will be spending in Cuba not working, not teaching, not going to school or classes, not practicing, not planning our own wedding

3 number of restaurants we are going to with Anne & Barry. Neither of them have been to the restaurants we recommended in our wedding invitation, so they're trying them out. Last week we went to the Beaver Cafe. While Toronto Life Magazine says the Beaver closes at 5pm on Saturdays, we asked the harried waitress and she said 2am. Food at the Beaver is still as tasty as we remembered it. We think Toronto Life needs a new copy editor because it says that Addis Abbas is closed on Saturdays and clearly it isn't. We will confirm summer hours and maybe throw up a few more local restaurants closer to the Big Day.

6 new total number of weddings we are attending in the next 12 months

151 day of the year that RSVPs from our "townie" guests will be due. We're mailing them out the third week of April - watch your mailboxes!

10 number of centrepieces needed for the reception area. Plus more for the other room.

463 approximate number of flowers purchased to make the centrepieces.

2 approximate number of moms-to-be at our wedding (and I'm sure that number is going to increase.!)

365 cost in Canadian dollars to fly to New York to get my hair done for the wedding. I'm not doing it, but I can tell you it would be so worth it.

26 number of rooms left in the Gladstone. Book soon! All 165 of you can't fit in our honeymoon suite.

103 days left until we get married.

If there's other juicy gossip or tidbits of info that you'd be interested in hearing about, let us know in the comments section!

insert vague reference to general busyness here

2006-03-15T10:35:00.000-06:00

We always seem to be telling people that we're busy. Which really isn't anything new. But now we're really busy, which I guess means we don't tell people we're busy anymore because we're too busy to see them. This, is the ultimate in busy. We are uberbusy.

What exactly are we doing, you may ask? Here's a typical Thursday for us:

6:00am SC wakes up, and gets ready to go to school.
6:30am GZ wakes up and practices guitar and piano for about an hour then bikes to work.
8:30am SC is teaching for the morning, GZ is editing work and supervising the Doozers (yes that includes you Paul)
12:00pm SC and GZ hit the gym in their respective neighbourhoods. Eat a lunch.
1:00pm SC commutes back to the city (calls GZ and says hi) and heads to her studio where she might treat a few clients, do paperwork, prep for next week's class, or do homework for one of the classes she's taking. GZ gets back to pushing the buttons.
6:30pm Wrap up at work for both. SC walks and GZ bikes to dance class.
7:00pm East Coast swing dance class.
9:30pm Pick up Ari's cheeseburgers, make a salad , dance around with the cat and maybe watch a bit of a DVD. Right now we're watching Ken Burns' Jazz retrospective. It's a beautiful film. I hope that Ken Burns' does a retrospective of the photographers from the same series!
10:30pm GZ might do a little ear training or reading some Mac materials, SC might read a bit from a favorite cookbook, but more often than not they both just pass out.

Somehow we are still finding time to prepare our wedding. Oh yes, and attend five other weddings, two of which one of us is in the wedding party, one of which is not in this country. Of course we're getting by with a little help from our friends and family. Garyan is pondering my hair (a two person job right there), Jeff is editing our invites, Karen is R&D'ing decorations, and Josh and Simon are planning the most dreaded bachelor party ever. Shout outs to the moms for sending food to us and to the dads for driving us around.

Also, everyone show some love for Ryan and Melissa who just got engaged. We're kinda busy right now, but I think we have some free time in the Fall to attend another wedding.

And finally, for all of you who were waiting with bated breath...

I finally found a bra.

The most exciting annoucement of 2006...

2006-02-01T13:06:00.000-06:00

...that is only slightly related to the wedding. As in as soon as I heard about I thought, "Can I add that to the registry?" (I've decided not. I don't know if I can wait that long.)

And technically it's only the second most exciting annoucement of '06, the first being my knowledge of a certain someone dating another certain someone else. But that really hasn't been announced, so I guess it doesn't count. Yet. And my happiness about this thing is only slightly less than my excitement about those two people dating. But I'm not going to talk about that thing. All I can say that I'm totally doing the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" dance over it.

Ladies and gentlemen, my early childhood development neatly packaged into a four CD collection:

http://www.shoutfactory.com/av/electric_co/ElectricCo_trailer.mov

Okay, I need to go home and listen to my album now.

The Wedding Power Hour!

2006-02-01T10:07:00.000-06:00

*cue Paul's wailing falsetto and headbanging here*

Because my life is just a complex dynamic of multitasking, I thought it would be a good idea to spend last weekend doing things for both my and my sister's wedding. Needless to say, was a good idea for getting things done. However it was a very bad idea for, you know, my sanity.

Some special moments from January 23rd to January 26th inclusive:

At the wedding dress store...
Designer - (with a sterotypical Euro accent - and I'm not kidding about this - a mink stole draped over her shoulders, she waltzes in to my fitting and proclaims loudly) "NON! You cannot wear that bra with this dress. NON! Only demi-cup with this dress! ONLY DEMI-CUP!"

Friday night music review...
I'm not going to touch the "this song hurts my ears like the sound of a thousand dogs barking" comment. I think we've worked through that, and the wedding is still on. Acid Jazz is not for everyone.

We've shortened the list slightly, removing such pop hits as "Kissing a Fool" by George Michael. Although now Jeff (unknowingly until he reads this) will have to kareoke it for me at the wedding. This is my Bridezilla moment. I'm demanding that Jeff sings this song. And I'm posting it on the InterNerd so everyone knows. Start practicing, Jeffery.

At the makeup counter...
Oh Mac Cosmetics, where did we go wrong? I've been a proud user since I figured out how to make up on. I don't go to anyone else but you. Okay, I'll admit that I've occasionally been seen with Cargo. But I swear, she means nothing to me. You have a diverse spokemodel crew: Deneuve to Missy to RuPaul, your products work great, you're mostly Canadian. The few boys that work your counters are always fun and professional.

So why it is that all your female sales staff are such pompous, self-righteous douche-hags with poorly envisioned dye jobs?

I wanted to introduce you to my sister, but I now think I might need some space, Mac Cosmetics. Maybe we should take a break from each other.

I'm also thinking of breaking up with the Eaton Centre as well as Michael's Craft Superstore. But I think I'm ready to take it to the next level with Active Surplus. That brotha hasn't let me down yet.

Round three of bra shopping, this time with your Mom...
Three words.
Don't do it.

Forbidden hair...
"Oh man... she's gonna FREAK when she sees that you haven't shaved your legs for the dress fitting."
Tired sigh from yours truly - in matron of honour mode - as I briefly contemplate the consequences. I decide that I just can't bring myself to care.

Realizing that the I've done too many wedding things, hour 96...
Trying not to burst into tears after coming home and finding out that Ad has spent six hours of his Sunday cleaning all three million of our decoration pieces for us. Not crying because I'm touched, crying because I wanted to do it.

Thank you for doing all that baby.

And if anyone knows where to purchase a backless, strapless, seamless demi-cup bra in an dusty ivory colour... round four awaits...

1st Round Draft Picks

2006-01-13T09:54:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone, long time no post?

January hasn't been much of a wedding planning month. More of a "working overtime, getting back into respective exercise regimes, I'm-not-teaching-this-semester-oh wait!-I'm-teaching-even-more-this-semester!", recovering from the massive amounts of cheesy potatoes, chocolate fondue and rum cake ingested" sort of month. But hopefully we're going to be doing some work on the decorations later in January. It's slowly coming together kids!

We've been receiving our out-of-town RSVP cards over the past few weeks, which is just great! I love getting snail mail. Much less spam-y than email. I'll have to scan some of the decorated ones we've found in our mailbox. I'm hoping to bind them into a little picture book that everyone can check out at the reception. Thank you so much for taking the time to write or decorate them, it really means a lot to us.

The one thing we have been spending an inordinate amount of time on is the reception music. I know that I have spent more time suffering over which Stevie Wonder song to play than I have my wedding dress. Or anything else wedding related, for that matter. Think about it! Do I go with a dance floor filler like "Sir Duke"? Not "As", because it's in the wedding scene in that movie that I can't remember the title of (Gare, help me out here). The remix of "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" so both the young and old can get down? If I could do it well, I'd sing "Ribbon in the Sky" to Groomzilla. Cheesy, but that song pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole getting hitched thang. I love "Doncha worry bout a thing"! But do I choose the original, or maybe the Incognito cover? Or the John Legend cover? We could west coast swing to that.
can't forget "Superstition" or "Boogie on Reggae Woman"...

Imagine me doing this with over 12 hours of my own picks, and you can see why it took me from July until January to whittle it down to approximately four hours of music.

Now Groomy and I have to listen to eight hours of music and narrow it down together to six? Do we choose the Gladys Knight and the Pips (my choice) or the Go! Team (his choice) version of "I Heard it Through the Grapevine"? Do we have several songs that we can swing dance to? How much latin do we have? Are our music picks too obscure (right now my picks include spanish [standard, cuban, puerto rican dialects], french, german, portuguese, and a touch of Yoruba, I believe) Can I swing dance in my wedding dress?!? These are IMPORTANT questions, people.

In unrelated news, a shout-out to Simon, whose birthday is January 15th. While his level of teasing towards me is of epic big brother quality, he's still younger than me. Which means nothing really, but it gives me something to focus on when he's laughing at me for having a hole in my mouth at Sunday Dinner. ;-P Happy b-day, brothaman.

2006-01-02T10:03:00.000-06:00

shocker
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Happy 2006 from Groomzilla, Shanghai and our entire wedding posse!

Blogging for Two

2005-12-08T15:37:00.000-06:00

Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

December has been a busy month for both Groomzilla and I on the work front. I'm busy researching researchables and just starting the marking of assignments and exams. Groomy is working on a kid's tv show 24/7. It has a sloth in it. And it talks about physiology. Weird.

But we found the time to hit the Gladstone's Grand Re-Opening weekend with many family and wedding party members plus significant others. The first floor is pretty much complete, and lovely. The third and fourth floor rooms were really the reason why half of Toronto came out.

Crazy wonderful rooms by some seriously talented local artists. And the textiles ? To DIE for!
For those who might be booking from out of town, a few caveats:

The Gladstone Hotel is a "boutique" hotel. All the rooms will be smaller than your average motel/hotel room. With the exception of the suites, all the rooms only come with either double or queen size beds. And only a few of the rooms are five-piece baths. Most just have shower/sink/toilet. Rooms are all non-smoking (I believe) but hey, one has a kareoke machine!

There are a limited number of rooms, maybe two dozen - so book soon if you want to be able to stay the night after the reception. (read: party with us until the breakadawn)

2005-12-08T15:22:00.003-06:00

Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

http://www.gladstonehotel.ca/artistdesignedrooms.htm

2005-12-08T15:22:00.002-06:00

Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

http://www.gladstonehotel.ca/artistdesignedrooms.htm

Jenn(ifer) & Steve's Room

2005-12-08T15:22:00.001-06:00

Jenn(ifer) & Steve's Room
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

http://www.gladstonehotel.ca/artistdesignedrooms.htm

2005-12-08T15:22:00.000-06:00

Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

http://www.gladstonehotel.ca/artistdesignedrooms.htm

I do not like them, Sam I am.

2005-12-08T14:09:00.000-06:00

Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

WEE KAWAII ASIAN TOY BRIDAL REGISTRY - episode 2

2005-11-25T15:12:00.000-06:00

gloomy-bear
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

What bride-to-be doesn't want - nay, need - a Gloomy Bear in her life? More specifically, a wind-up Gloomy that spins his boy-owner-now-plaything around and around by his ankles (the middle of the photo)?

Yes, the blood on his wee kawaii paws and mouth are his boy-owner's. Aww!

Surprisingly, not available at the Bay OR Home Outfitters.

In other wedding news, we've started receiving the "out-of-town" RSVP cards in the mail! Shout outs to Bud and Kathleen, the very first respondants. People will be arriving (hopefully) from as far away as South Africa - how cool is that? Townies, don't fret - you'll be getting your invites next year.

And, former co-worker and all-around nicest person working at the Four Seasons Toronto Katherine just told me she's engaged too! YAY!

Gentleman's Choice

2005-11-21T16:19:00.000-06:00

Groom - "Oh! They have the robot vacuum cleaner here! I'm scanning it."

Bride - "We already have a vacuum cleaner."

Groom - "But this one stores itself away. It'll fit under the couch!"

Bride - "But we already have a vacuum cleaner that's less than a year old. Plus you want to get that dustbuster too."

Groom - "We'll scan the robot vacuum cleaner AND the dustbuster! They'll take up less space and they're easier to use."

Bride - "You want to replace our one vacuum that you have never used with TWO vacuum cleaners?!?"

Groom - (impatiently) "They'll take up less space!"

Bride - (walking away) "Fine. Scan the robot vacuum cleaner."

Several moments later, the bride sees a wooden clothes dryer.

Bride - "Ooh! Let's scan that!"

Groom - "Okay baby." (scans it) "See? That's how you're supposed to do this."

Registry

2005-11-13T16:28:00.000-06:00

So...the Bay. Now, there is some nice stuff there (as Jeff and Kendra can attest) but not a ton of it really screams Michelle and Adam. Still we managed to find, um, twenty things that we liked. In the whole freaking store. Did I mention that it took us over 2 hours? Since we currently have 177 people on the going guest list, we're gonna have to find some more stuff. Also, there are a couple of things on this registry that we need to either delete or change. Anyhow, here's the list so far, in all its glory. But don't buy anything until the link shows up in on the homepage. Also, since there will probably be a lot of stuff that Michelle and I see that we like that isn't available at the Bay our good friend Nicole will be maintaining a custom registry. That way if you're really stuck (or don't see anything at the Bay) you'll be able to email her and she'll provide you with a list. Once you pick something, you'll let her know and she'll email everyone to let them know that it has been taken!

and uh, I'll comment on the previous post as soon as the weight of it sinks in. I'm so lucky

Rethink.

2005-11-12T10:34:00.000-06:00

Getting married is a pretty funny thing. For one thing, you tend to flip-flop on decisions. At first I was right on board about not registering. Tomorrow Groomzilla, the Moms and I are going to the Bay for a consultation. And I have a list.

The other funny thing is that you get to hear what everybody thinks about you getting married. We all know that Groomzilla is now dead to TW. We all know that my sister is pretty psyched. In general. And about our wedding. We all know that 'Col and Paulichan are gonna cry a little.

I received a message not too long ago from a friend of mine. I left her a voice mail about five months ago briefly catching her up on my life and our recent engagement. Her voice mail back to me said many things including an off-the-cuff mention that perhaps I should "rethink" my upcoming nuptials. Repeated several times.

I did the only thing a B2B could do - call her Honourable Maiden and rant. And Lady MK and I did agree that our dear friend is a little bit crazy and is probably just projecting and while we still love her, she's wack. We know this. But it does make a girl think.

Why am I getting married?

I'm not just marrying Adam because I love him. I'm marrying him because he has a plan.
A wedding that reflects our beliefs, that defines who are family is - and it's much more than the blood relations around us. It also is going to be the best party we've ever hosted.
A home that he's actually saved for, that's in our community, a house our kids will grow up in.
Kids that he wants to stay home and help raise. He worries about what school they'll go to, how we'll discipline them, how many french classes will he have to take so he can help them with their homework if/when we enroll them in french immersion.
A career that he loves to do, that he can be creative in, that he can be successful in, that can pay the bills. He worries, wonders and plans for all of this, and more.

This morning on the way to work, in between reading Cryptonomicon and watching a 30-something dad play with his toddler on the streetcar I realized that most of my life has had a "watch and wait" philosophy knotted around it. Watching for family to drop past hatreds. Watching for relationships to bloom into something more. Watching for the phone to ring. Watching for doctors to come to some sort of conclusion about my health.

My response is to fly around in a holding pattern. Waiting for family to be civil. Waiting fruitlessly for commitment, for acknowledgment of needs. Waiting for a MD to say anything with some sort of certainty! It's bound to drive a girl a little... mental.

On the streetcar I realized all of this. And then remembered that Adam has a plan. I'm not sure why, or how, but within that plan, is me. And he's acting on it. He has answers. This must be what Faith feels like. Unbelievable to me but somehow we're going to be okay? AND happy? Wouldn't you marry him too? (Hands off.)

While the verdict on all things God-ly is still out for me, I am quite certain that between Ad's discussions with his Man Upstairs, and my Granma and Granny pulling a few strings, we're getting married.

Master plan indeed.

Babies Revisited.

2005-11-04T10:49:00.000-06:00

PRO - Super cute toddlers posing for the camera.
CON - Perpetuates society's need to categorize everyone. Why do people need to know the ethnic background of a not white child?

PRO - Attempts to reinforces the idea that bi/multiracial children are products of love, not the end result of wanting "beautiful lightly coloured babies with blue eyes and softly kinky hair". They are babies, not fashion accessories.
CON - MULTI-CULTI CUTIE?! I just threw up a bit in my mouth.

PRO - The shirts will probably pay for the designer's bi-racial child to go to college. Which is good, because he/she certainly won't qualify for a minority scholarship unless she's "actually black".
CON - White bread + White Rice = Anglo-Asian kids experiencing an unprecedented increase in type II diabetes.

The Gladstone Hotel - images

2005-11-01T14:40:00.000-06:00

Gladstone 14
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Back on track after the most wicked time I've had at a full-on wedding in a long time. Nay, NEVER have I had such an awesome time at a full-on wedding in my life. And I think I speak for all the kids when I say,

"I think we need a little more Wil and Alex in our lives."

Go Langston Hughes!!!

We're behind on the invites, hopefully to be rectified mostly this weekend, and we have to do some sorta registry thing-y. Our caterer-to-be (hopefully) will be travelling to Barbados this winter so you *know* there's gonna be some nyamin' next summer. I refuse to have anyone else except Scott do the photos, and Groomzilla is thinking about musicians.
Even when knocked out by crazy virus for a couple of weeks, we are still all over this wedding thang.

The following images are mainly for the wedding party and family to ruminate over while brainstorming decorations ideas. FYI, the Gladstone Hotel's Open House is Dec 2-4. More deets to come.

Gladstone 15

2005-11-01T14:25:00.002-06:00

Gladstone 15
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

reception area, east wall.
This wall has wood plugs in between the brick, plus chains hanging down to hang stuff.

Gladstone 16

2005-11-01T14:25:00.001-06:00

Gladstone 16
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

reception area, east wall.
just north of gladstone 15 image. these doors will be locked during the event so we can put more tables and chairs here.

Gladstone 19

2005-11-01T14:25:00.000-06:00

Gladstone 19
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

reception area, north wall(ish)
to the left, that's our door for guests. Thru the opening (which has a sliding door to close it off completely) is the ballroom.

Gladstone 20

2005-11-01T14:24:00.001-06:00

Gladstone 20
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

ceremony/dancing area
With chairs. Which we may or may not use.

Gladstone 22

2005-11-01T14:24:00.000-06:00

Gladstone 22
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

c/d area
east wall, again with wood plugs and chains. There's another door on the far right of the picture, which will be locked.

2005-11-01T14:22:00.001-06:00

DSC_0024
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

The other bar, just east off of the ceremony/dancing area.
Note the colour.
The east door leads to the very nice washrooms (there will be a security dude there), the north door leads up to the hotel rooms.

2005-11-01T14:22:00.000-06:00

DSC_0026
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

ceremony/dancing area
the drapes will be replaced, and the frames stained. All of the other stuff will not be there obviously. We still haven't decided whether or not we will be using some of the risers or not.

2005-11-01T14:21:00.000-06:00

DSC_0027
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

the other bar, just off the ceremony/dancing area.

Gladstone 29

2005-11-01T14:20:00.001-06:00

Gladstone 29
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

ceremony/dancing area
This is the grid that goes around the entire ceiling in this area. It's load bearing too, so we can hang things... maybe really simple white round paper lanterns with lights in them?

Gladstone 31

2005-11-01T14:20:00.000-06:00

Gladstone 31
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

ceremony/dancing area
those doors on the left will be locked. the box on the right is the sound equipment.

Gladstone 33

2005-11-01T14:19:00.000-06:00

Gladstone 33
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

reception/drinking area - viewed from ballroom

2005-11-01T14:18:00.000-06:00

DSC_0028
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Yes, its really been this busy

2005-10-31T11:02:00.000-06:00

Between J&K's wedding, organizing the invites, arguing over the wedding bands quote, Hallowe'en, finding a caterer and being sick since Thanksgiving, we haven't found time to blog.

And since we've only completed two of the above tasks... It may be awhile before a proper post.

WEE KAWAII ASIAN TOY BRIDAL REGISTRY!!!

2005-10-09T20:52:00.000-05:00

Nowa-nowa
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Yeah, that's right. Like I don't have enough to do, I'm trolling for WEE KAWAII ASIAN TOYS!! for my make-believe bridal registry.

Don't worry honey, I really don't intend on making this an actual registry.

Today's WEE KAWAII ASIAN TOY BRIDAL REGISTRY!!! entry is the elusive Nowa-Nowa. A fairy dog that only responds to you when you speak to it very softly in French. Even more elusive as I can only find it in the UK. Dammit.

Police Academy XXVI

2005-10-07T17:41:00.000-05:00

Police Academy XXVI
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

I never knew how incredibly friendly cops could be until we hit NYC. Wow. Really, really nice guys!
Note the huge grin on my sister's face.
She's in her happy place.

Pre-wedding celebration ver 1.0 beta: images

2005-10-07T17:39:00.000-05:00

Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Somewhere off of Madison Avenue...

Pre-wedding celebration ver. 1.0 beta

2005-10-05T13:31:00.000-05:00

This is probably the perfect blog time: Four hours of sleep. Two hours of teaching students how to find the _teeny-tiny_ bones in the wrist on four hours of sleep. Dash to work, co-workers out for food and booze and I'm stuck here waiting for a technician to arrive. Haven't seen Groomzilla much this week - and probably won't until November. And I just finished "The Time Traveller's Wife", which has left me with the uneasy and completely irrational feeling that I'm going to DIE too soon after our own upcoming nuptuals. Hmm. I fit into the Blogverse just fine.

This past weekend was the first of hopefully not-too many more pre-wedding celebrations. Don't get me wrong, ver 1.0 beta was pretty fun. My godmom took the Squirrel and I to NYC for the weekend - all expenses paid as our mutual shower.
I'm a bit of a loner (Groomzilla just dropped his tea cup in shock) so it was definitely an experience travelling with two other people, period. The Squirrel and I haven't travelled together since I was about 16 and I don't believe we've ever travelled with our godmom, except for sleepovers at her place growing up which I firmly believe was one of the two things that kept me sane in my childhood. The other being my Granma.

Our trip was like most showers - it consisted mainly of shopping and eating but throw in a little sightseeing. With the Squirrel and I sometimes breaking into the Sugarhill Gang's "Apache" on street corners. And like most showers, you see some things in people that you never saw before. Like:

1) The Squirrel digs men in uniform. _Really_ digs men in uniform. Digs them like I dig Groomy in his daisy dukes. I'm surprised that Eh Steve has not enrolled into firefighter school because of her passion. Hypersonic squealing and random, uncontrolled movements of the hands - in a grabby-grabby motion - abounded. So of course, I made it my personal mission to document her passion by taking as many pictures of her with cops as possible. Images to follow.

2) The Squirrel really loves purses and shoes. Wow. She loves them in the way that I heart wee kawaii Asian toys. (Can I register for those?) I thought Lady MK was the only one who was a Shoe Whisperer, but I was wrong. Two fake Pradas handbags later, she was a happy clam. Sadly, no fake Coach. Next time Squirrel.

4) My godmom really is my second mom. This came as a bit of a surprise to me.

Just to give you a little history, my godmom has known both my sister and I since about our births. When my folks split, pretty much all the friends and relations that they had together disappeared from my life with no explanation. Including both sets of my godparents. I was pretty bummed at the age of nine, godparentless. The Squirrel's godmoms were still in the picture as they were my mom's long time friends, Liz and Joyce. I mentioned this discrepancy to Liz and she simply said, "Well, now I'm your godmom too." And then we went out for ice cream.

She hasn't let us down since. She taught us about computers in a decade where computers weren't in schools, let alone being used much by women. She told us about the trials and tribulations of her own life and listened to ours and it never felt like dumping. She taught us that some relationships in life are really fucking hard, but are worth fighting for. She taught us how to be independent. She taught me how to have fun and gave me back a piece of my childhood in a decade where I grew up too hard, too fast.

She spoiled us rotten. Not so much with toys or clothes, more with experiences. My first fancy dress-up dinner out, my first ride in a limo, my first womens' networking conference, my first house-sitting job... my first time to New York City. The shitty stuff - breaking up with lovers, dropping out of school, financial difficulties, botched medical procedures - she was there too. No questions asked. And somehow she firmly believed - and still does as she told every New Yorker we met this weekend - we're the best kids around. Which still feels pretty nice at 33 as it did at 9.

Travelling with her this weekend had all the usual elements of hanging with Liz: chocolate, talking about our lives, more chocolate. But I also found myself noticing that she's a little older, a little more set in her ways, there's some ebbs in her health she mentions offhandedly, and I worry. She used to seem so invincible and unreachable from the pedestal I placed her on, just like my mom. Now, I just want to bring her down from up there, hold her close, look her in the eye and say thank you.

...
...
...

Clearly, if every pre-wedding celebration is going to be this eye-opening and emotional, I may have to drug Groomzilla and take him to Vegas.

Shanghai

2005-09-21T13:23:00.000-05:00

SP ME
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

That would be me, in front of my class.

Groomzilla

2005-09-21T13:22:00.000-05:00

adam
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Sorry kids, couldn't resist. I'm a sucker for fun Flash.

Aunty Shirley, up from B'dos

2005-09-09T10:39:00.000-05:00

Aunty Shirley, up from B'dos
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

The second weekend in August Ad's family, Lady MK and I drove up to my folks place in Cambridge. What had originally began conceptually as "Ad's parents haven't meet my stepdad - we should get on that" turned into a Bajan picnic feast with 13 people!
Aunty (see right) was visiting from Barbados for six weeks so her and my mom cooked up a storm, everyone pigged out, the kids played frisbee, the adults talked about... whatever it is that adults talk about.

My stress levels, when averaged out, were okay. There were a few horriflying conversations that made me wish that my mom's garden would swallow me whole. But that was balanced out with the now infamous "negro blood" story and plenty of champers supplied by Anne and Barry.

I don't know how many of you guys have dated a West Indian or eaten at a West Indian home. But nothing gets my mom more excited than making a mess of food and then watching people stuff their faces.
"Sure," you say, "other cultures do that too." Yes - but with a West Indian, you NEED to eat ALL of that food. Or else.

The Brothers Strong (2 of 3)

2005-09-09T10:28:00.000-05:00

The Brothers Strong (2 of 3)
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

The Dads (2 of 3)

2005-09-09T10:27:00.001-05:00

The Dads (2 of 3)
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Lady MK - honourable maiden.

2005-09-09T10:27:00.000-05:00

Lady MK - honourable maiden.
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Interracial Meal - dessert

2005-09-09T10:26:00.000-05:00

Interracial Meal - dessert
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Oh, how I love sugarcakes!

Interracial Meal

2005-09-09T10:25:00.000-05:00

Interracial Meal
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

This poorly-lit image is for Paulichan, who wanted to make the picnic but could not. You're gonna need to click on the link to view the photo with all of its notation!
Man, I love Flickr.

Mom & Sis

2005-09-09T10:23:00.000-05:00

Mom & Sis
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

After a hard day of slaving in a hot kitchen, Mom kicks back and gives my sister the bizness.

Eh Steve! (brother in law)

2005-09-09T10:22:00.000-05:00

Eh Steve! (brother in law)
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Anne - Ad's mum

2005-09-09T10:21:00.000-05:00

Anne - Ad's mum
Originally uploaded by Shanghai Cowgirl.

Down, but not out.

2005-09-09T10:14:00.000-05:00

Groomzilla is recovering from a wicked back injury, so I'm filling in for his regularly schedule broadcasts.
I see that while we do indeed have unofficially announced a date and a place, we haven't touched on other events that have happened over the summer. So - I'll do that. Besides, it give me the opportunity to see how my Flickr account works with Blogger - so cool!
So, this is more of a photographic blog entry. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Polly

2005-09-07T15:36:00.000-05:00

So looks like we've nailed down a venue - we just have to go over the contract and make sure that all the "t's" are dotted and the "i's" are crossed. Based on a number of reasons, (size, cost, friendliness, proximity) we've decided to go with the Gladstone. I know that many of you, well some of you, well...Nicole, have had issues with the Gladstone in the past. I can only promise you that there will be less people at our wedding than at CanZine, and that the renovations that they've done since NxNE (nevermind the last CanZine) are impressive and beautiful. We also made a point of making sure that we will have access to and control of the AC for the room and they've assured us that the not-so-nice drapes will be replace by the time of the wedding.

And with the venue selection comes the date. We managed to avoid August for P&S, have it before September so that SJ doesn't have to fly in from the east coast (assuming she's home for the summer) and late enough that it's a couple of months after Squirrel and Eh Steve!'s wedding. Unfortunately that means that we're getting married on Pol's birthday. We still have to make with the ink, and we'll be sending out save the date cards, but if you're paranoid about long range booking the date is (tentatively) July 15th.

Picture it...

2005-08-04T21:42:00.000-05:00

This man:

Charming, easy on the eyes, smooth on the dance floor, be it swing or latin.

Up against this woman:

(The one on the left)
Feisty, stubborn, already shaking her moneymaker as she got off the Go Train.

They faced off at the Caribana Parade 2005. He played it cool in long sleeves, hat and a thick layer of sunscreen while lounging in the shade. She jumped up like she hadn't done in years. (Bum knee? Yeah,right.)

It was only a matter of time before she pulled him in and he had to dance. With her. Holding her hand. For twenty minutes.

This was definitely not covered in any dance class he has ever taken.

However, the number of future-son-in-law points? Infinite.

Tell us Groomzilla, better or worse than dancing with your own mom to "She shook me all night long"?

Sad to say, no pictures of this twenty minute long moment were captured. But, if you have any sort of imagination, you can see that it would be pretty damn funny. And just for the record, NO! It didn't look anything like this:

You guys are GROSS.

way outside the budget

2005-07-25T15:16:00.000-05:00

The old capitol theatre, way out of our league, but gorgeous. And they get extra points for having the balls to post their prices for almost everything on their websit. Here's how the costs breakdown for our guestimated guest list of 150 guests. Bear in mind that the the reception is supposed to be %50 of your wedding budget.

Venue rental: 5PM-2AM: 2750 + 175 x 1.07 (this is for Friday, Saturday's are 3750. Smart people would book a Sunday for 2000 with a Civic holiday on the Monday after)

Open bar, 9pm-1am: basic package 32x150x1.30 = 6240 (for top shelf, 7605)

So far, I'm more than double our "ideal" budget for the entire wedding. I know $5000 isn't a super realistic budget for a big-ish downtown Toronto wedding, but we've got something to work towards.

"Don’t say, “when I get married, I’m going to…”

2005-07-18T03:04:00.000-05:00

"No bride cares about your imaginary wedding. This is her real wedding." - How to Be A Good Bridesmaid, by J.A. Luongo.

Apparently Miz Luongo also recommends "Be nice to the goober they want to fix you up with" and "Do the chicken dance".

Uh, yeah. For the record, there will be no Chicken Dance, no Macarena, no conga line. No dumb dancing. Unless it's actually Dumb Dancing a la Fresh Prince of Belair done to "Apache" by the Sugarhill Gang.

Today I'm writing for two kidlets, as the Groomzilla is recovering at home after a very intensive weekend which included a special someone else's Special Day. I'm recovering by sipping a Cherry Bomb Cafe doubleshot iced latte and not-working-at-work.

So Saturday, the bridal party aka The Squad (minus one) spent their first of many days together. Let's meet them, shall we?

Karen aka LMK, honourable maiden. Tactical officer.

Jenn(ifer) aka The Squirrel, bridesmaid. FX Expert.

Samara aka SJ, bridesmaid. Secret Weapon.

Mystery bridesmaid.

Plus our own BA Baracus, my mom. No picture was taken as it might steal her soul.

We headed to Lowon Pope http://www.lowonpope.ca and 2.5 hours later, I had a dress. I'm not going to go into much detail except to say that once I got into it, and the manager of the store added some adornments ("Indulge me!" she said), everyone seemed to get real quiet and we all just looked at me in the mirror. And then my sister burst in tears. So I knew that was The Gown.

I cannot say enough about the amazingness of Lowon Pope dresses. I tried on about 12 of them, and I liked them all. They ALL were deftly crafted pieces of art. Sure, you can get a dress for cheaper on Spadina Avenue. But you will never find a dress there that is cut as well as these. I tried on two dresses, one inside out and one backwards and they still looked terrific. Hands down this will be the finest piece of clothing that I have ever owned. And not because it's a wedding dress, but because it is a piece of couture. Plus, the manager and staff are an awesome and incredibly indulgent bunch of women.

Get your asses over to Queen Street West and get your dress there already! And don't give me no back sass about sizing and cost. They have simpler and cheaper dresses than the one I bought, and they size from 2 to 20. So shut up. And go. But not on a Saturday.

Sorry. Too hot and tired to find an interesting title for this post.

2005-07-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, you heard it here first kidlets. It's officially too hot for the b2b. Sleep has eluded both the Groomzilla and I for days. How hot is it? It's so hot we slept with freshly washed and wet laundry on Tuesday night, and we slept with ice packs last night.

Ice packs, kids. This ain't right.

Happily, the heat and its resulting effects on our respective personalities haven't affected our wedding scheming. Because we have done nothing. Never fear though, we are getting lots of practice as we're organizing a BBQ of Love for 'Col and Spookymonkey. That's over on Sunday and then we'll get back to the task of our own little shindig.

Speaking of, my first big purchase is coming up. My security team and I are shopping for my wedding dress this Saturday. This should be fun. There will be cameras. Wait for it.

Dance Fever!

2005-06-22T12:57:00.000-05:00

We're thinking about having an introductory dance lesson at the beginning of our reception. But we can't decide between latin (either Salsa or Mambo)and Swing (either Lindy Hop or East Coast). What do you wanna learn?

	Latin is soooooo 2003. I wanna learn some swing.
	Do you want your wedding to look like a friggin' Gap ad circa 1998? Latin, please.
	Cocktail + Evening Wear + Hors d'oeuvres = Mambo
	Ahem Cocktail + Evening Wear + Hors d'oeuvres+ Dirty moves = Lindy Hop
	How 'bout something we can actually use when dancing to contemporary Top 40 fare? Let's learn some salsa
	Isn't Lindy Hop kind of, um, slow? How 'bout some East Coast swing, maybe some jitterbug too!
	Dancing? Whatever, hippies - I'll be at the bar.
	Um, isn't this just an excuse for the two of you to show off?

Free polls from Pollhost.com

The Name Game

2005-06-20T14:14:00.000-05:00

Adam Axbey?
Michelle Bolduc?

I think Adam Axbey sounds pretty cool. And Michelle wouldn't have to change her professional name. Also, I think it sends a nice message to the world that we're not automatically subscribing to assigned gender roles. But. On an emotional level I'm pretty attached to Bolduc. Not only do I have a deep love for my family but I've had to fight for this name. I've put up with a lot of teasing, correcting people on the "proper" pronounciation and as such it's not as easy as I thought it would be to let go of it. I'll also have to explain to my parents that it has nothing to do with how I feel about our family - and it might just kill my Granny (though she could go any day now). Still, that's the way I'm leaning. Adam Axbey...

BTW, while either of us might chose to hyphenate our middle name (Daniel-Bolduc or Ann-Axbey) last name hyphenates or different last names are gross and not being considered.

"The second wedding dress should not have a train, but a sweep is acceptable. Veils are no-no’s, but hats and headpieces are encouraged."

2005-06-14T15:41:00.000-05:00

1) Not only did they use the word "should", they used "no-no".
2) I was really hoping to wear a scarlet veil. Or maybe a red "A" painted on my forehead?
3) Headpieces... would one of my wigs count?

Let me be the one bring this up since a lot of people are going to be tiptoeing around it:
This is going to be my second marriage.
There. I said it.
So, I thought I'd search the 'Net for some love for all us two-time b2bs. Can I get an amen?

If you find the info for the "blushing" (read:VIRGIN) bride boring and didactic, reading material for us harlot brides on second weddings wavers between rage-provoking and sleep-inducing. Apparently what we're having an "encore wedding". Man, that's like calling your 80's your "golden years". Who are we kidding? With few exceptions, your body is doing some serious breaking down once you become an octegenarian. And with few rare and bizarre exceptions, your "encore bride" has been around the block. Let's not be coy about it. She might have kids, she might have baggage. She might have an ex that she may or may not be on good terms with. But at least you know she's gonna do you right once she carries you over the threshold on your wedding night.

I can wear white - hey thanks guys, but I didn't the first time! If I have already been given away at my first wedding, then there is no need for me to be given away again, especially since the logic would dictate that my ex-husband be the giver - Phew! That's a relief. Even though ND is supportive, I wholeheartedly doubt he's THAT supportive. We *must* have a registry: "Try an alternative one, like wine or books!". Wait, that last one was actually not such a bad idea...

Then there's the craziness. "The second wedding ceremony should be a subdued affair. It is usually attended by immediate family and close friends. For divorcees, this is to minimize the obvious, (i.e. that they had already taken a public oath that included “till death do us part,” which clearly did not come to pass)." Ouch. Wanna rub a little salt into that wound for me please? Apparently this is also a good reason for family members to not accept the invitation to come. Wow. That's disheartening. But on the plus side, that keeps the numbers down for the catering...

So in the eyes of the law, credit rating companies, Southern Belle wedding planners, banks, and most major bridal magazines, the second wedding and marriage is a quiet, sober affair with much scrutiny being placed upon myself and my past. My rebuttal? I'm gonna get a little tipsy with TW and give'em the Shocker.